We hear every day how polarized we are as a country. Conflict is all around us. We are daily bombarded in the media with the conflict between warring ideologies, whether political, religious or cultural. On a global level, we see so many conflicts raging around the world, with little hope of resolution.

One might accurately say that conflict has come to be an inevitable aspect of human existence, woven into the very fabric of personal relationships, communities and nations. The biblical narrative from the beginning describes this reality, from the fall of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden, to the fratricide of Cain and Abel. Conflict is an ever-present reality. In the face of this reality, is there a way out? Is there another way, a way that leads to reconciliation and peace, between individuals, “tribes,” and nations?

There is a famous parable from the Desert Fathers of the early Church that simply, yet profoundly, reveals to us “a more excellent way” than the enmity and resentment that too often characterize our relationships with others and actually stems from our relationship with God:

There were two old men who had lived together for many years, and they never quarreled. Now one of them said: “Let us try to quarrel just once like other people do.” And the other replied: “I don’t know how quarrel happens.” Then the first said: “Look, I put a brick between us, and I say, ‘This is mine’ and you say: ‘No, it is mine,’ and after that, a quarrel begins.” So they placed a brick between them, and one of them said: “This is mine,” and the other said: “No—it is mine.” And he replied: “Indeed—it is all yours, so take it away with you.” And they went away unable to fight with each other.

At the heart of the meaning of this simple story lies the virtue of humility. We are so often convinced of the truth of our own “positions,” as true as they may be, that we lack the humility to even consider the position of the other. We justify our pride by convincing ourselves that we are on the “right side,” and then demonize the other, who may disagree with us.

To be clear, this is not to say that truth is relative, or that all views and positions are valid. Rather, it is a matter of not missing the forest for the trees. It is quite possible to go to hell believing all the right things. As St. Paul so eloquently writes in I Corinthians 13, if we lack love, all else is of no avail. The two old men in the story knew in humility that all they were and had was rooted in God’s grace and forgiveness. They realized that they were in no position to judge the other or claim what wasn’t theirs. They were able to let go of the brick, because they had given their lives to God.

It is said that pride is the cardinal sin. Pride consists of claiming ownership of our lives, without acknowledging that our lives our not our own. This was the sin of Adam and Eve in the garden, and this spiritual disease continues to plague us in our own day. To speak the truth in love, is to do so with humility, worrying first about the log in our own eye before seeking to remove the speck from the other’s. It is to leave judgment to God, who alone is His mercy to judge the hearts of all.

The path to peace and reconciliation is first and foremost a path of repentance. The first step is self-examination — an honest appraisal of who we are before God, and a commitment to straighten out our own house before we would dare straighten out someone else’s. When we experience God’s love and forgiveness and come to comprehend the magnitude of this in our own lives, then we realize that our so-called enemies are also those for whom Christ also died, and to whom we must show love and mercy.

Like the old men in the story, we need to let go of the brick.

David Henderson is the priest of St. John the Baptist Orthodox Church in Craig. He can be reached at davidwh787@gmail.com