Faith Column: Loving yourself changes everything |

Faith Column: Loving yourself changes everything

Pastor Tony Bohrer

One of the hardest things to do is expect someone to love you that doesn’t love themselves.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Its easy to love when we want something but true love gives even when there is nothing to gain.

If I love me first I will love you best!

One of the reasons I talk about loving yourself is that when we practice loving ourselves, we develop a certain trust that brings us closer to being true to ourselves. If you truly don’t love yourself you wont be able to give or receive love like you need to. Not from people who care and not even from our Lord.

For some of us, this is easier said than done. If you’re finding that you’re saying or doing things just to appease others, then you’re denying your soul’s purpose.


Many times we find that we’re unsure of ourselves. We constantly second-guess our decisions, or we make them based on others around us.

It can be difficult to not suppress your true self in a world that is so quick to judge or compare you to others. We learn from our culture or parents, and we start to judge ourselves constantly, because that’s what we’re taught. We should never compare ourselves or our kids to other people. We should be judging ourselves from what we were yesterday. Telling our kids that the only person you need to be better than is the person you were YESTERDAY.

Comparing ourselves to someone else is no way to live a happy and loving life. You’ll constantly be chasing something that is untrue.

Being true to yourself is a constant decision that we make daily.

We are not defined by the mistakes we make. Allow yourself to let go of your negative self-talk and love yourself.

When you do this, you will notice many powerful shifts inside of you, such as:

1. Compassion

When we love ourselves in each situation, we learn to be the best version of ourselves. We become more compassionate towards ourselves, and we stop judging ourselves based on past decisions or actions. We learn from our mistakes and move on to the next moment. When we are compassionate with ourselves and others, it’s easier to adapt to changes in our life and to bounce back from hardship faster.

2. Bravery

Being your true self moment after moment makes you courageous and strong. When challenges or anxieties mount, you might feel the pressure, but you face them with grace, because you learn that you can count on yourself—your true self—to do your best, whether you fail or succeed!

3. Comfort

When we express our true-self we become comfortable in our skin and a weight is lifted off our shoulders. Self-berating diminishes, and with time, we’re less worried about the future. We are comfortable in the present, and we no longer carry the past around with us.

We pay attention to the present, and it brings us comfort to be here—no matter where we are.

4. Positivity

You’ll notice that when you practice trusting your inner voice that your relationships with others will change. You’ll start surrounding yourself with people who help you or encourage you to be yourself. You will not spend so much time around people who drain your energy, and you’ll gravitate towards others who inspire the best in you.

Tony Bohrer is the Pastor of Apostolic Lighthouse Church of Craig.

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