The ridiculous, the funny, the bizarre. It’s all here in this list of the year’s most eyebrow-raising headlines and entries from the Craig Police Department blotter.

Officers respond to disturbance over clogged toilet
Dec. 28, 2016: On the 400 block of Tucker Street, officers responded to a report of noise, fighting and screaming going on in apartment. One man became angered when another caused the toilet to overflow. Officers resolved the dispute but did not address the toilet.

Officers field question about dog pooping on balcony
Jan. 9: On the 600 block of Wickes Avenue, officers responded to an animal complaint. The reporting party called in wondering if there’s any code against letting a dog defecate on the balcony of an apartment. Code enforcement responded and advised there is no specific code that prohibits such a thing, however officers advised he check his apartment rules and regulations.

Suspicious pizza sent as gift to officers
Jan. 14: At the Public Safety Center, officers responded to a report of a suspicious pizza. A pizza delivery drive showed up at the safety center with a pizza that nobody had ordered. Officers called Domino’s Pizza and discovered a family from Michigan sent it to officers as a thank you.

Raccoon sneaks into house, steals cat food
Jan. 20: On the 700 block of Legion Street, officers responded to an animal complaint. The man believed he had a raccoon in his house. He was tipped off when the food that was left out overnight for a cat was gone the next morning, but the cat wasn’t in the house. He asked to borrow a live trap from animal control, and his request was granted.

No laughing matter
Feb. 2: At Airgas on Russell Street, officers responded to a burglary in which several cylinders of nitrous oxide — commonly known as laughing gas — were taken. A forced entry left damage to the building. Craig Police Department encouraged the public to call with any information.

Drunken people cause problems
Feb. 4: At the Cool Water Grill, officers responded to a report of disorderly conduct. A middle-aged man reportedly came in, ordered a drink and started having outbursts, then passed out at his table with vomit all over him.

Streaker strikes twice outside City Market
Feb. 17: On the 500 block of Pershing Street, officers responded to a report of a streaker. A caller from Stockmen’s Liquors reported a man took off his clothes behind City Market and, completely naked, jumped out into the street and exposed himself while waving to passing cars. He then put his clothes back on and repeated the process. He was caught in the act of exposing himself when officers arrived and was arrested for indecent exposure.

Naked man seen near Northwest Colorado Health
March 16: On the 700 block of Tucker Street, several employees of Northwest Colorado Health reported seeing a bald man naked on his balcony. He had “cardboard and a blanket up but they can still see everything,” according to police notes. Officers made contact with the man, who was wearing shorts at the time. No charges were pressed.

Streaker steals Sweet Lucy Bourbon
March 21: At Stockmen’s Liquors, officers responded to a report of theft by the man who was caught streaking in February between Stockmen’s and City Market. In this incident, he was fully clothed when he stole a bottle of Sweet Lucy Bourbon. He was issued a trespass notice and a summons for theft.

Vandalism by sanitary napkins
April 10: On the 1200 block of West Sixth Street, officers responded to a report of vandalism. The culprits appeared to be teenagers and were throwing sanitary napkins and yogurt-like things at vehicles in the apartment parking lot.

Assault by soda
April 23: At Candlewood Suites, officers responded to a report of an assault. A woman reported she was snoring, and her roommate threw a full soda at her while she was sleeping. She moved rooms.

Deer suspected of breaking parked car windshield
June 7: On the 800 block of Steele Street, officers responded to a report of possible criminal mischief. A red Saturn had been parked in a driveway when it was discovered the windshield had been broken. Upon further investigation, officers determined the culprit was not human. A deer had apparently spooked and jumped off a retaining wall from a neighboring property, landing on the car and smashing through the windshield. The deer was not found, and the extent of its injuries were unknown.

Three-legged deer with diarrhea
June 7: On the 800 block of Steele Street, officers responded to a report of an injured deer with three legs and diarrhea. The caller said it’s a regular in the area and gets around alright, but requested a wildlife officer to follow up. The deer was not implicated in the hit-and-run incident reported earlier that same hour on the same block.

Needles found in chicken
June 16: At Walmart, a woman reported she found needles in her chicken. She returned the chicken, and officers took a report of possible food tampering.

Naked man bathing in river
July 22: Near Veterans Hall, a caller reported a naked man was bathing in the creek and stated the man also urinated in front of her son. Officers contacted a party underneath the bridge and talked to him about where he was disrobing. No crime was found.

Dead rabbit found in mailbox
July 31: On the 300 block of Bonderud Avenue, a woman reported a rabbit had been killed and shoved into her mailbox. She believed the culprit was someone with whom she was involved in an ongoing case.

Neighbor threatens to make dog burrito
Aug. 6: On the 600 block of Conner Drive, officers responded to a report of a threat. The caller said the man who lives next door in a camper trailer was standing in the yard screaming profanities, threatening to kill the neighbors’ dog, chop it up and put it in a burrito. The caller stated they were afraid of the party. He eventually went back inside, and it doesn’t appear officers contacted him.

Pig on the lam at Moffat County Fair
Aug. 10: At the Moffat County Fairgrounds barns, officers received a call from a man who was angry because he thought the Moffat County Fair Board had let his pig out. There was a pig chase going on when the officer arrived, and the pig was eventually apprehended. The man wanted the officer to stand by while he spoke with the fair board, but he was unable to resolve the matter and left upset. The fair board said they would call back if the man returned, as he was being disruptive.

Drunken cowboy tries to steal donut
Aug. 23: At East Kum & Go, officers responded to a report of a drunken man in a cowboy hat, cowboy boots, blue jeans and a flannel shirt who tried to walk out of the store with a donut. He decided to pay for it, but was being belligerent with the clerk. He left to the side of the store, and the clerk wasn’t sure if he was planning to drive or not. He was gone on officers’ arrival.

Shovel-spider incident mistaken for domestic violence
Sept. 2: Officers responded to a report of domestic violence. The caller heard banging and screaming and thought someone may have been hit by something, then saw a male party speed off in a tow truck. Officers contacted a female party, who advised that everything was OK. She said she was in an argument with the male while, at the same time, her sister was trying to kill a spider with a shovel.

Prowler in snowman mask seen with knife
Oct. 27: At Columbine Apartments, a woman said her son was looking out the window and saw a male party in a white snowman’s mask with a knife. He was by their window five minutes earlier. She ensured the door and windows were locked. Officers contacted them and were unable to find the party.

Live deer named as suspect in vandalism of deer statue
Nov. 13: On the 900 block of Alta Vista Drive, a caller reported a statue in their yard had been vandalized. Someone yanked it out of the concrete and broke the legs off . When officers arrived, they found the deer statue had been knocked over by a live deer.