Stephanie Pearce: Make no mistake — holding on to regrets is no way to live

Stephanie Pearce
Stephanie Pearce

Mistakes. A mistake is defined as an incorrect, unwise or unfortunate act or decision caused by bad judgment or a lack of information or care. Everyone makes mistakes. Some just have longer lasting effects not only for yourself, but for those around you.

I’ve constantly written about how wonderful my family is and how awesome my marriage is, and I stand behind that one hundred percent. I have so much to be thankful for, and these people and life experiences have brought me have given me more joy than I can imagine. It doesn’t mean mistakes have not been made, though. It doesn’t mean that our lives are perfect. It means we live in grace and we choose not to dwell on the mistakes of the past.

There’s special people whose lives we’ve missed out on and who emotionally took more than they ever deserved because relationships didn’t work out. There’s the time missed out with family because work led us physically apart for a time. There are words spoken in the heat of the moment that you can’t take back. Mistakes. Huge, erroneous mistakes. Life-changing mistakes.

But who can live there in all those mistakes? No one can live there forever.

It’s hard to move on when people keep bringing up how much you’ve hurt them or throw your mistakes in your face, but it’s possible. Just be thankful for the lessons learned. Be thankful for what you have today. Pray. Surround yourself with positive people who want to see you be your best.

Sometimes we have to face the fact that we won’t ever change the way some people see us. Sometimes we have to hold on tight to those who have seen us at our worst and are still there holding our hand through it all. Find those who see who you are now and who you will be — not what you’ve done and can’t change.

When I write about my amazing marriage of 18 years or my talented kids and the close relationship we all have, I look at it with grace. We have lived through broken places. We have loved each other through it all. Every day I’m so thankful for the life I’ve lived and the things we’ve been through together, both good and bad. Are there things I would do differently? That’s looking at what isn’t possible and I’m looking forward. When I look forward, I see a bright future. I see good things ahead that keep my attention so well that I don’t want to look back.

We get this one life. It’s too precious to spend time being angry, hating or holding on to mistakes of the past whether your own or someone else’s. Let yourself move on. If we take time to love what we have in our lives right now, we won’t have time to focus on mistakes. We won’t have to make each day our best because it will just be the best. It’s all in our perspective and our attitude. The word “mistake” doesn’t belong there.

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