Stephanie Pearce: Don’t self-loathe, pull up your spirits
October 26, 2014
When we are going through a tough time, it is so easy to get very self-involved. It is so easy to sit back and think of all the ways that things are going wrong for you. It's common when you're in this state to ponder on how no one can understand what you are going through. We wonder how people don't take notice of our plight and why they don't reach out and help without us asking. My advice when these ideas creep their way in your head? Get over yourself.
"How can you say that?" you might ask. It's simple. I, myself, have been there. I have been so depressed over the way my life is that I can't see anything to look forward to. It does nothing for you or your loved ones to stay in that place of self- loathing. So, don't. Look around you. Look within you. You can pray. You can look at all your blessings. There are blessings, if you choose to see them, in every situation.
There are people going through, and even living through, worse things than you right now. Your road might look bleak, but there is always someone going through something tough. You might even be facing what could be the end of your life. But you know what? You're still here today. You still have a chance to make today a brighter day than yesterday or at least to make someone else's day brighter than their yesterday.
I remember when I went to see my Aunt Wanda for her birthday just before she passed. We all knew she had only a few days, so most of the family went down to say goodbye. I remember holding her hand, and I gave her a letter (I don't know if she ever got to read it, but I hope someone read it to her). She told me what a blessing I had been in her life and what a good mom I was and that she was proud of me. I could tell she was in a world of pain and she knew the end was very near, but she didn't focus on her pain, she focused on mine. She knew the words I needed to hear from her. In her pain, she chose to make my life brighter.
When I'm going through a rough time, and I'm sure I just don't have it in me to keep going, I think of that moment and how she chose to build me up. I choose to focus on the blessings around me. I choose to get over myself. I choose not to stay in that place of pity and sometimes grief. I purpose to make my day more cheerful. Sometimes it is work to do it; I'm not going to lie. But when you do make that choice and purpose, it changes your whole outlook. When you're outlook changes, you're able to be a blessing to others.
So, get over yourself. Don't be self-involved. Instead, purpose to have a better attitude and to be a blessing to someone else. You'll be thankful that you did.