Neil Folks: What about the other 80 percent?

Neil Folks

Years ago, and I won’t tell on my age, we were taught 80 percent of communication between people on a personal and professional basis was non-verbal.

That means most of our relationships are built on something non-verbal.

Imagine that.

Something occurs in the space between two people that’s not always transmitted, frequently referred to as vibes, at the unconscious level. I’m starting to note a huge gap occurring between us where sensations or vibes are not flowing.

Face to face communication creates a natural gravitation towards one another which now seems missing. Are communication gadgets getting in the way of this natural flow of neutrinos between us? It seems so from my viewpoint.

Almost daily, I sense a loss of connectivity with my fellow human being.

Diarmuid O’Murchu, in his “Quantum Theology, Spiritual Implications of the New Physics,” claims that connectivity is the fundamental truth about all life: “connectedness and interrelatedness are interwoven throughout the entire fabric of creation.”

Is our power of love being changed to love of power, a loss of intimacy? Why do we so dislike talking face to face?

Are we so out of touch with our emotions and feelings that we don’t know how to convey them to another human being? They don’t talk to me much, for I am not tech savant, but I’m surprised how little they talk to one another. They always seem to have their phones, iPhones or iPads in their hands, even in the presence of one another.

It seems the tech savants have found ways to avoid having us confront each other face to face.

We don’t have to show our feelings to one another, therefore I won’t be scrutinized — I may not measure up to your standards for me.

The texts you send me are short and abrupt, with inflections of the voice and body language missing.

Are we afraid to communicate ourselves on a holistic basis thinking our actions may contradict our convictions?

Naomi Baron, one of the leading researchers in technology and communication and a professor of linguistics at American University in Washington, D.C., said, “The entire notion of social interaction is in danger of being redefined. There’s no impetus to converse with the person in front of your nose.”

It has been said, “The eyes are the pathway to the soul. Maybe I don’t want you to know what the real truth in my soul is.”

Electronic devices will not pick up on this unseen transference of the body language where most of the interaction takes place on the unconscious level, one body reading another.

A lot goes on in the subatomic world in that space between us. Our electronic gadgetry seems to be creating a bypass of our souls — soul tending toward psyche, experience, particulars, and “me.”

When we fail to do our soul and bodywork, the spirit tending toward mind, universals, absolutes, and God, tends to be illusory, self-righteous, and ideological (Richard Rohr in “Everything Belongs”).

We essentially lose our balance in the human trinity.

In Paul’s final blessing in 1Thessalonians, where the three parts are clearly delineated: “May the God of peace make you whole and holy; and may you all be kept safe and blameless in spirit, soul and body for the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ (5:23).”

Emotions, feelings, and inflections add a spiritual richness to our conversations as humans. It is part of discovering the purpose of our lives.

Let’s not allow technology to rule us, but us learn to rule technology.

It does have a wonderful place in our worlds if kept where it belongs. My relationships, whether they be personal or professional, are based on including the missing 80 percent, the body language.

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