Kathy Bassett: Why were skunks created? | CraigDailyPress.com

Kathy Bassett: Why were skunks created?

Kathy Bassett's column, "The View from Maybell," appears in the Saturday Morning Press.
Courtesy Photo

— My poor momma cat is wearing herself thin moving her newest batch of babies here and there.

First they went in the haystack, then under a big stock tank and then under the house, just to keep them safe from the skunks, coons and coyotes.

Jesse and Russell saw a coyote by the house the other day, but the coyote just thumbed ’em cuz he knew they didn’t have a rifle. I just know he was sneaking in to eat some more cat food or find a baby kitty.

Cat food is expensive enough, and I don’t like buying it for the critters who come uninvited every night to help eat it.

So, at Senior Dinner the other day, this person was jaw-waggin’ to a couple of us about how she had a skunk in her trap that had been there six days and didn’t know what to do with it.

Grandma told her just to reach in there, grab its tail and pull it out. I don’t think the woman was impressed with that idea.

I told her just to shoot it. She said she couldn’t do that because she had company coming and didn’t want to smell up the place. I now know what she meant!

So what happens? I went home and found a skunk in my trap. I can prove it – just smell my truck! When we drive down the road, other vehicles cringe and move over.

My beautiful truck. Oh, it is awful. It gives me a headache just to walk past the poor thing whom I’ve always fondly called “Lil Miss Gitty Up and Go!”

Yeppers, I actually do talk to my truck.

I encourage her during the rough muddy/icy times and compliment her in the good times. I pat her on the dashboard just so she knows how much I appreciate her. She treats me right, and I make sure she gets her oil changed every 2,000 to 3,000 miles. But I’m almost sure I heard a little gasping whisper when I walked past her this morning, “How could you do this to me?”

Well, it wasn’t hard. First of all, everyone kept telling me that if you shoot a skunk in the back, it won’t smell cuz it can’t lift its tail. So, I decided that now was about as good a time as any to try that theory out.

I took aim and the stinky critter rolled over and went to the land of permanent sleep. And best part of it all, it didn’t raise its ugly tail and didn’t spray anything. So, I picked up the trap and placed it in the back of my truck.

Peeeeeeeeeeee yuuuuuuuuuu!

Maybe it didn’t raise its stinkin’ tail and spray, but all the muscles relaxed and from that point on, what difference does it make? It’s all the same. I drove on down to the lower pasture, dumped the stinky thing out of the trap and went back to the house.

The stink crawled off the bed of my truck and then sneaked inside and embedded itself into the upholstery. I tried spraying it with Lysol. No good. I went back to my ol’ faithful way of getting rid of skunk smell – baking soda and peroxide. That worked 99.5 percent.

The next day, when I checked my trap, yeppers, another skunk. Boy, was he on the fight. Tsk, tsk, shouldn’t of got in my trap, then. I remembered the day before and dumped him into a plastic sack, tying the top tightly closed.

He joined the other skunk down in the lower pasture.

He paid me back, though, because the plastic sack idea didn’t work. He relaxed all his muscles 10-fold over what the first skunk did. My truck is worse and my clothes are worse’er, and my boots are beyond mention. And he didn’t even spray!

I re-set the trap over in the hay stack yard and so far have caught three more skunks and two barn cats. One skunk did “point and shoot” and Ani caught it! I got her cleaned up, though, so we could stand being with her.

The trap sure smells awful. I thought that would keep the regular kitties away. I guess not because I usually put awfully good food in the trap and always catch myself something.

I’ve been baiting it with chicken, dumplings and noodles because I figure the skunks are getting really full of regular ol’ cat food every night. Grandma wanted me to add some mashed taters with it, but I told her I didn’t think skunks probably liked mashed taters.

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