Kathy Bassett: How to install a swamp cooler | CraigDailyPress.com
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Kathy Bassett: How to install a swamp cooler

Kathy Bassett

Well, let’s see. First of all, you wait until summer is almost over, and then one day, when you have two or three truckloads of visitors show up, you sweetly say that you can’t figure out how to get your swamp cooler installed into the window and running so that you can be cool.

Make sure that you are fanning yourself and feeling faint from the heat.

It is very important that you pour water over your head when you see the company coming so that they will think you are really sweating.

Of course, the men will jump right up and tell you that they would love to hook your swamp cooler up, just show them the window you want it put into.

OK, so you show them.

Then you take them down behind the barn and point out the swamp cooler that has been laying there all winter and spring.

It should work OK.

They brush the dirt off, pull the weeds out of it and load it up on their truck and bring it up to the house, and proceed to put it in the window that you have designated.

By this time, one of the lady visitors comes out to watch.

The men, of course, will groan. But that’s OK, because we women secretly know that they like the ladies to watch because then we will know how smart and handy they are.

One feller, whom we will call Larry Kunkle because that is his real name, wants to know where some tools are.

Hmmmmm.

You can’t find everything you need, even though you know they were just here the other day!

So the lady watcher (she told me if I used her name in my article that she would come back and kick my uh huh) volunteers the use of her tools and proceeds to go out in her vehicle and get them. Larry is mumbling something under his breath about having $100,000 worth of tools in his shop, and here he has to use some “woman’s tools.”

The men get the swamp cooler shoved into the window, and then Larry wants to know where the little doohickey is that goes in the hole at the bottom. That isn’t exactly what he called it, but I can’t remember the : wait : it’s the overflow thingy.

So I found that for him. Then, he wants to know where the nut is that goes on the bottom of it. Well, I can’t find that. I reckon a packrat has it stashed somewhere in his nest.

It is Sunday afternoon and 50 some miles to town.

I don’t think we are going to run in and buy a nut. Let me tell you about this Larry K. guy. I do not know of anything that man can’t do or think up when the need arises. He is way better than MacGyver and as far as I’m concerned, MacGyver should probably go hide behind a rock.

Having no nut didn’t stop him. He asked for a piece of wire. So, his little friend helper, Jesse Sheridan, got him some from somewhere, and Larry made a nut out of the wire.

Then he asked me for some silicone, but all I had was some “Amazing Goop” for automotive purposes. I haven’t ever used it on my truck, but it works on everything else I’ve ever used it on.

Larry was pretty skeptical about the “Amazing Goop,” but he put it on there and got his nut tightened up on the overflow thingy, and wow. They turned the water on and it did not leak.

Larry couldn’t quit saying “Amazing!”

I went in and turned on the swamp cooler, and wow. Within just a few minutes, it was getting very nice and cold in the house.

It is never too late to hook up your swamp cooler.

I might add that with summer about to come to an end, Larry, his wife Virginia, their kids, Desirae and Brent, and Jesse went up on the mountain and started getting the winter firewood.

I went along and helped. This is another whole new story, and I learned some more MacGyver tricks.

When we got back to the ranch, unloaded all the wood and stacked it up, then we stood in front of the swamp cooler, and awwwww boy it felt good!


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