H. Neal Glanville: Words and other confusing messes | CraigDailyPress.com
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H. Neal Glanville: Words and other confusing messes

H. Neal Glanville

Interesting things, words.

Each has its own meaning, and at times multiple uses. We rattle them off like we know what we were talking or writing about.

Each week, I string a bunch of these words and phrases together, and if I link them properly, they’re enjoyable to read and sometimes make you think on the weak side of your brain.

Each day, I hear or read something that makes the easily excitable weak side of my brain almost explode – almost, because vacuums don’t explode.

This morning, I heard someone explaining the mathematical probabilities of a parallel universe. The idea of another universe alongside this one is “pretty much” a call to arms for all the people still lost in the 1960s.

Now, if the people “lost” in the parallel part of our universe drive state Highway 13 north would please cross back over. :

Hold up there, bucko. That’s the answer.

Highway 13 is the road to our parallel universe.

It has to be. That’s why nothing has been done to the poor old slab of asphalt since I set the Baggs-to-Craig land speed record in fall 1973.

Oh sure, they’ve done a bit here and there, but it’s become a pickle in the eye of Moffat County and an oozing scab to the state.

I know you’ve read this before, but someone needs to step up and do something. Not say something, but do something.

The phrase that really caught my “weak side” this week was “feasibility study.” It appears you can apply for tax dollars to have someone study an area that might be ripe for a business.

After much discussion and a non-typical survey, I’ve decided to apply for some of this “free money.” The business: tumble weed study and eradication.

Quit laughing. What do you know, if anything, about tumble weeds?

For instance, how do you tell male from female, or why do they always rest at fence lines, and how does something that appears so fragile keep moving after being run over by a trained tumble weed hunter?

See, you didn’t know near as much as you thought. It shouldn’t take too much money to study the practicality – a simple definition of feasibility – to see that this business could really flourish.

After all, it’s only a tumble weed, and why should I waste my time or money when the government will do it for me?

Now for something completely different

This week’s fishing hotspot is Elk Head Reservoir.

The Colorado Division of Wildlife has stocked it with “catch-able” trout. (What does “catch-able” mean?)

They’re catching Crappie by the bucket, and there are two reports of a 40-inch or better pike being caught.

In general, the old mud hole is finally starting to clear up.

Last week, I caught the second biggest cutthroat trout of my life right here in Moffat County. Hard to believe, I know, but I have photos of both of us smiling.

How do I get to this garden spot you ask? I shall share:

Take County Road 2B to the fork by the big rock, turn left and head for the next three-way fork. Go straight through till you reach Bob’s Fuel and Repair and ask the kid behind the counter, “Where the heck am I?”

He’ll share, too.

Until next time …

Yup, there I was, surrounded by carpetbaggers and a developer or two, when I said to myself, “Self,” because that’s what I call myself when I’m talking to myself, “Why all the moaning and groaning over a 3-foot strip of parking lot, the same 3 feet that’s been owned by five different outfits during the past 64 years with nary a problem?”

I purchased my first “velvet” painting on or near the golden 3 feet, and no, Mr. Jacobson, it wasn’t Elvis.

The present owner, Elk Run Inn, is happy with the 3 feet, which for all intents should be theirs.

But as life would have it, somebody else wants it. Problem is, the other person doesn’t appear to really care about any inconvenience the loss of this 3 feet may cause the present owners. They just want it.

The Elk Run owners march along making interior and exterior improvements, always smiling and trying to find the humor in their situation.

Do they worry about a threatened lawsuit each time they begin an improvement? Do they care how the other person finds out each time somebody skips across the golden 3 feet within hours of it happening?

Nope. That’s one of the cool things about this couple. They, as I, believe right will always endure.

It may have to be fought for, but it will endure.

Thank you for your time.


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