H. Neal Glanville: Messy outhouse dealings | CraigDailyPress.com

H. Neal Glanville: Messy outhouse dealings

H. Neal Glanville
H. Neal Glanville

It’s known and frequently documented that I’m easily confused. Take, for instance, the “insider trading” that’s running amuck in the portable outhouse trade.

Someone is peeved because the Craig Chamber of Commerce didn’t use their outhouses. A mere $5.60 separated the winning receptacles from the empty ones.

The ironic twist here is the fact that both outhouse companies were over the allotted monies allowed by the Chamber for the use of said receptacles.

It’s been my experience that when all bids are above the allocated amount, they’re thrown out and the bidders are asked to resubmit. Please remember, I’m easily confused on the weak side of my brain.

It’s the common sense side that remains intact.

Following all this potty talk comes the untimely resignation of a past president and current board member. It seems the “flow” of the Chamber of Commerce and the direction it’s headed aren’t the same as the former board member.

I guess the old plumber adage is true. If it flows downhill, “everything will come out in the end.”

I had several thoughts I wanted to put into this week’s column regarding our Memorial Day celebration.

Fortunately, Kathy Bassett, of Maybell, did a much better job than I could have. The memories I have of each minute I spent in and around Maybell are the ones you can’t explain to most people.

How do you describe doing the belly crawl across Mr. Romero’s property just to go fishing on a good stretch of the Yampa River, or freezing everything you own off for days at a time just to find a lost mama cow?

To paraphrase a quote from Alex Urie, “The only reason the wind blows in Maybell is ’cause most every place else sucks.”

Speaking of Memorial Day and confusion, I’m at a loss to understand the naming of the new elementary school after a hunk of rock.

I’m fully aware children should learn the ins and outs of our voting privilege. My confusion stems from the young “voters” being fully informed about their choices and not necessarily picking the one that’s the cutest or the one that closely resembles that of a retirement home.

I’m supposing that naming the school after a man who gave his life so that others might live and continue the promise of a republic just didn’t seem quite as important as it should have to the people informing the “voters” of their choices.

Believing that naming the school after a local hero was a given, I’m ashamed of myself for not doing more to make it a fact. Please help me resolve this error and correct it. Any and all suggestions are welcome.

Now for something completely different :

This week’s hotspot is Freeman Reservoir, just 20 odd miles north of town.

It is beyond beautiful this time of year. Please be aware of the special fishing regulations, and drive slowly and with care on the upper roads.

Jen, my fishing “budette,” and I have a question: Why is it when you’re going someplace it seems forever before you get there, but yet on your way home, it takes no time at all?

Until next time :

Yup, there I was surrounded by my own shame and the stain befalling our community when I said to myself, “Self,” I said cuz that’s what I call myself when I’m talking to myself, “maybe we should change our name from Craig America ‘where the west begins’ to Craig, ‘somewhere in Moffat County, Colorado.'”

Thank you for your time.

Columnist Hal Glanville can be reached at halglanville@yahoo.com.

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