Craig Marshall Smith: I am Craig

Editor’s note: This column was sent to Craig Mayor Terry Carwile from Craig Marshall Smith in Douglas County. Carwile gave it to Daily Press Managing Editor Noelle Leavitt Riley for publication. Both Carwile and Leavitt Riley found it amusing and interesting to see what outsiders think of Craig.

I am Craig, but I’ve never been to Craig.

I am thinking about it, because I heard that everyone in Craig named Craig gets a discount.

It’s debatable whether it would be worth it to drive to Craig to get a discount on gasoline.

What are your thoughts?

Craig might be my kind of town. I am not a big city slicker. There are fewer than 10,000 residents.

Craig is the home of the Whittle the Wood Rendezvous, and the February 1993 Playmate of the Month, Jennifer LeRoy. Oh, and lots of elk.

Craig has eight massage therapists. That seems high to me.

Eleven liquor stores. That seems high to me too.

There’s a Home Depot that “serves the Craig area,” but it’s not in Craig.

Craig has a Walmart, but I’m not a Walmart shopper.

Teenagers attend Moffat County High School in Craig. It’s “Where Students are Achievers.” I think you will see the basketball team in the state tournament this year.

The Bulldogs pounded two Denver Schools, including Kent.

Small towns aren’t isolated like they used to be. Thanks to the Internet and FedEx.

Remember “Castaway,” the movie that starred Tom Hanks and Wilson the Volleyball? It’s really a tribute to the efficiency of FedEx.

FedEx can make a small town feel like it fits in with everyone else.

The other side of that is that everyone in a small town knows what you had for lunch.

I can get away with things here that I wouldn’t be able to get away with in Craig. I’m an invisible man in Douglas County, and that’s the way I like it.

Craig was named after someone named William. Full name Reverend William Bayard Craig.

Craig is known at the “Elk Hunting Capitol of the World.” Hunters come from all over the place, and the town’s economy depends upon the income.

Jennifer and I might drive over to the 2015 Whittle the Wood Rendezvous. It sounds like a lot of fun.

Twelve contestants from all across the state start with a tree trunk, and whittle it into something in just four short days.

Raptors, beavers, bears and the winner last year was the spitting image of Whitey Ford. (Reminder: You should always vet what I say.)

There’s music and delicious food.

The 2014 headliners were the Atlanta Rhythm Section. They’re biggest hit was “So Into You.”

It reached the Top Ten in 1977, the year that I moved to Colorado.

It means that they have been singing that same song over and over at festivals and nostalgia themed concerts ever since.

It’s a good song, and I guess it’s worth repeating. But what if your biggest hit was “Watching Scotty Grow?”

By the way, Bobby Goldsboro (74) is an artist now. His paintings look just like his songs if that makes any sense.

Performers want to paint, and painters want to write.

Performers should stick to performing, and painters should stick to painting. I am not listening to my own advice, am I?

Tony Curtis wanted to be a painter. He took classes from my professors at UCLA. It didn’t take, but that did not stop him.

It never crossed my mind when I woke up this morning that I would be writing about Craig, Colorado, or Whittle Rendezvous.

But I think I have a title for my next painting.

Craig Marshall Smith

Douglas County

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