Annie’s Mailbox: Mom doesn’t like my boyfriend
Craig — Dear Annie: I am a 28-year-old gay man. I have two jobs, keep my own house and pay my own bills. I recently started seeing someone who makes me feel wonderful, and for once in my life, I am happy. The problem is my mother. She has never met “Bill,” but already doesn’t like him because of our age difference. He’s 47, but is the most caring person I have ever known. He supports me in all that I do and tells me I can do anything.
How can I get through to my mother that I am happy with Bill?
– Emotionally Tattered in Texas
Dear Texas: You are 28 and no longer need your mother’s approval to date whom you choose. The best way for Mom to accept Bill is for her to get to know him and understand why you think he’s so wonderful. Make plans to introduce them soon. When she sees that the relationship is working out, she will come around. And if not, it’s still your decision to make.
Dear Annie: My husband and I are in our 60s, retired and married more than 35 years. I love him dearly.
For most of our married life, I often fantasized about other men during sex in order to be sufficiently aroused. Consequently, after being intimate, I came away with feelings of guilt. For the past few years, I’ve stopped fantasizing, but as a result, I no longer enjoy intimacy.
Do other women in long-term relationships fantasize about other men? If so, how do they deal with the guilt?
– Mature Citizen
Dear Mature: These kinds of things can make intimacy better and strengthen your marriage, so there is absolutely no reason to feel guilty about it. It is perfectly normal to fantasize about other partners during sex. Most people do. It can enhance the experience and keep the sparks lit after many years together. As long as your fantasy stays in your imagination, it is no threat to your vows.
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