Annie’s Mailbox: Couple in awkward spot with neighbors
Dear Annie: I am 26 years old and happily married. We recently moved into our first home, next door to “Tom and Sophie,” a childless 45-year-old couple.
My wife likes Sophie, and I enjoyed Tom’s company until he asked me to join him on a fishing trip.
We rented a single-room cabin for two nights, sharing all expenses.
In the middle of the night, I woke up to find Tom’s hands rubbing my body.
I pushed him away, offered a few choice words and began packing. He quietly drove us to our respective homes.
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The Longevity Project is an annual campaign to help educate readers about what it takes to live a long, fulfilling life in our valley. This year Kevin shares his story of hope and celebration of life with his presentation Cracked, Not Broken as we explore the critical and relevant topic of mental health.
I told my wife about the incident, swearing her to secrecy. I don’t wish to be responsible for problems in Tom’s marriage.
However, I find it difficult to continue our relationship.
We cannot afford to move to another neighborhood.
What should I do? How can our wives continue their friendship with this awkward history? How do I relate to Tom?
— Mike in Alabama
Dear Mike: Here’s what you do: Act as if it never happened.
Your wife can still maintain a friendship with Sophie, but you should find ways to be busy with other things.
Do not encourage get-togethers, but don’t abruptly cut them off.
If you gradually back away from socializing, it will seem natural.
Avoid any reason to be alone with Tom. He won’t question why, and we suspect his wife won’t, either.
Dear Annie: I strongly disagree with your response to “Modest Mary,” who was uncomfortable when her friend held a conversation stark naked in the women’s locker room at the health club.
You said it was “normal.” I have been a member of a health club for 20 years, and I have seen only one woman walking around naked. It made me very uncomfortable.
I do not view this as normal gym behavior.
All of the women I have encountered wear a towel and change in a dressing room.
— Debbie from Sarasota, Fla.
Dear Debbie: Your health club must be more upscale than the ones we frequent, where women change in an open locker room area.
While we agree that a towel would be nice, we also think some nudity is to be expected in an all-female changing area, and some women are less inhibited than others.
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