Al Cashion: Which political animal are you? |

Al Cashion: Which political animal are you?

Are you a political lemming? A Yellow Labrador? Chimpanzee? Homo Erectus?

I made a simple twelve question test that will tell you:

  1. Is the word, “freedom” most easily understood when a Democrat says it or does it make more sense when a Republican uses it?

  2. In terms of actual spending, not “campaign speak” or talking points rhetoric, do you trust the Republicans with your money or the Democrats? (Trick question?)

  3. Is it the Republican’s way of submitting to the Federal Reserve or would you prefer the Democrats at the feet of Ben Bernanke?

  4. Is it the foreign policy of the Republicans that you prefer or the current foreign policy? To rephrase, is it the one you don’t understand or the one you can’t identify?

  5. Is it the way Democrats send billions overseas to governments who stab us in the back or the way that Republicans send billions overseas for some chronic back pain?

  6. Is it the “backroom deals” the Democrats make or do you prefer the Republican kind? (They are distinctively different, you know. One prefers Camus Cognac Cuvee brandy and Padrón Serie 1926 No. 1 cigars. The other group enjoys GlenDronach single malt scotch with their Cohiba Esplendido cigars. Way different. )

  7. Do you want Democratic “honesty” or Republican? No … you silly goose. Not real honesty. “Their honesty.” You know, “talking points” honesty. Nuanced. Crafted.

  8. Do you prefer American military lives be sacrificed for the reasons Republicans give or do you like dead soldiers coming home in boxes the way Democrats explain it?

  9. Do you like the expansion of government the way Democrats do it or do you prefer the expansion the last time the Republicans held both houses and the White house?

  10. Do you like the Republicans who think some banks are too big to fail or the Democrats making laws that make banks fail?

That one’s a freebee. Interchangeable.

  1. Do you believe that a Democrat can produce a sound economic plan that will emerge from the Senate and Congress unscathed, unchanged and a comprehensive whole? Or will it be the Republicans?

  2. Do Republican’s care or do Democrats care … Nov. 7?


Self score:

  1. If your answers stayed true to one party, you are a Lemming.

Please don’t vote. Do not engage in conversations of substance. There’s a cliff or a river somewhere. Go find it. Or… should you desire to advance, pay close attention to what your party does not talk about and retest at a later date.

2.. If you desired to stay loyal to one party on all questions but were restrained by the thought that it may not be completely true. Congratulations! You found a brain. Although you probably have used it rarely except for Wheel of Fortune. You are a Yellow Labrador Retriever. There’s a ball somewhere. Go fetch. Or, if you desire advancement, ask yourself why the platitudes and promises of your party have been the same since you first learned not to pee in the house. (Multiply by dog years.)

  1. If you were confused, then frustrated, because you just realized the fallacy of being loyal to a party … Congratulations!!! You are a Chimpanzee. You found your brain and have used it. There is a banana somewhere.

Go eat it.

Should you desire the next quantum leap in the animal kingdom, start building a library of great independent, political and economic thinkers, i.e. Ludwig Von Mises, Murry Rothbard, Albert J. Nock and others. They never had to defend a party. They dismissed “either/or” for triangulation and found insight.

  1. After the first and second questions, you hurried to the bottom because you recognized it was a sophomoric exercise in “D: none of the above”, Congratulations! You have a brain. You use it for more than Jeopardy. You are a Homo Erectus.

You prefer a world view through the lens of truth and a rock solid Judeo-Christian philosophy that has stood the test of time.

Loyalty holds less value for you than truth. Impartial, objective analyses, thorough reasoning, logical deduction and asking the five “W” questions, “Who, What, When, Where, Why” is your process filter for political language and promises.

You are horrified and dumbfounded by our representatives and in disbelief that your compatriots can’t see how they are being manipulated.

You are aware that a few of the elected are swimming against the tide with integrity but the Beltway machine can be all consuming. You are tired of fools spewing rhetoric and talking points that would not be allowed by a High School Debate Coach.

I’m of the view that both popular parties have become so much machinery with the supreme goal being to preserve the machine.

It is not a law that we have to abide a two party system. Maybe we animals should start thinking outside of our cage. The cage IS the two party system.

Support Local Journalism

Support Local Journalism

Readers around Craig and Moffat County make the Craig Press’ work possible. Your financial contribution supports our efforts to deliver quality, locally relevant journalism.

Now more than ever, your support is critical to help us keep our community informed about the evolving coronavirus pandemic and the impact it is having locally. Every contribution, however large or small, will make a difference.

Each donation will be used exclusively for the development and creation of increased news coverage.


Start a dialogue, stay on topic and be civil.
If you don't follow the rules, your comment may be deleted.

User Legend: iconModerator iconTrusted User


See more