Like any structure, relationships that can stand the test of time all begin with the same thing: a strong and sturdy foundation.

And when I say foundation, I mean two people who have the same goals, morals and values.

We all have a picture in our head of what we want our partner to look like: tall, built, brown eyes, curvy, amazing smile, smart, funny, confident, honest, and compassionate. But, these are all physical traits and should not be the base for building a strong relationship.

Let’s face it, looks ultimately fade.

We all lose hair in some places and grow it in others, we not only gain weight, but we also accumulate wrinkles, and like a structure when the foundation starts to crack, so does the building built upon it.

I have learned that finding a partner who has all the physical traits you desire is easy, but if you don’t have the same goals, values and morals, then like a house built on a weak foundation your relationship will also crack and fall apart.

My ex-husband and I had different views on parenting, money and faith. These are some of the most important topics in the foundation of a relationship.

These topics are important and should be discussed from the start. If you know that you want to have more children and be a stay at home parent, for example, then you should voice that from the start.

There is no reason to get into a relationship with someone when the two of you aren’t on the same page or at least willing to compromise. It pays to be honest if you know what you want and what you need, not only with the person you are interested in, but with yourself.

— If you have any topics that you would like to see addressed in the 25 shades of Craig, email trinitynicks@gmail.com.