H. Neal Glanville: A few words on Maybell
March 28, 2011
I'm going to interpret, to the best of my ability, the attack of the Planet Stupid on the Maybell Cultural Heritage Days.
As we all know, this event, combined with the Sombrero Ranches Horse Drive through town, has become a summer staple to the Moffat County tourist trade.
Suddenly, it's been brought to a screeching halt by the rumor mill of Planet Stupid's do-gooders.
At first, I'd feared some animal activists had joined hands to protect the elusive butt-stuck-in-the-air stinkbug.
But, I later learned that the activists and the management of stinkbug local No. 2 had reached an agreement regarding death benefits and hospitalization for the wounded.
So, using the weak side's limited power of deduction, I sprang upon the tree-huggers with a limb breaking vengeance.
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Well, the tree huggers didn't care one way or another, as long as no trees or lawns were being harmed. And yes, I paid a small fine for the limb I'd torn off that Cottonwood tree.
After the weak side's embarrassing attempt at deductive reasoning, I called upon my old friend — common sense.
After a well-deserved cigarette and a cup of black sludge, he set his mind to tinkering.
If, in rumored fact, a permit was needed, who would need one?
Of course, Maybell would need one for its part in the festivities, but who else? Surely not Sombrero Ranches — they've been running horses through town for 35 years without so much as a giddy up.
Maybe, a whispered friend of Uncle Bureaucracy mentioned, something about crowd control to law enforcement?
But, as common sense said, "That's a state highway and the local officers would have to kick that question upstairs." Which means the Colorado State Patrol would have jurisdiction.
Why would the Colorado State Patrol now ask for a permit after all these years?
Surely the state is not going to ask for permits every time somebody moves a flock of sheep or a herd of cattle down the highway.
Although it's true a horse will do its best not to step on you, if they're bunched up and at a loose gallop and you step in front of them with a camera, might want to check with stinkbug local No. 2 for coverage.
Now for something completely different
Fishing season is upon us.
If you can brave the breeze and a bit of cold, head to Loudy-Simpson Park.
There's still a little ice on either pond, but if you throw your bait just to the edge of the ice and let it drift down, you should do pretty good.
Hey, you be careful out there, and stay to the light.