November 29, 2010
Dear Annie: I went on a trip to Europe with my longtime boyfriend, "Conor," whom I love dearly. While there, he struck up a friendship with one of the women in our group.
After a few days, she started making teasing comments, saying, "I'm coming to visit you tonight, Conor." The next morning she would say, "You were wonderful last night," and he would answer, "Was it good for you, too? Did the earth move?"
After a week of hearing this banter every night and morning, I blew up and told him that they were both incredibly rude, and that if I heard such flirtatious dialogue one more time, we
Conor says it was just a joke and that I overreacted. He says he loves only me, and if I had spoken up sooner, he would have stopped. He claims not to be attracted to her. Did I overreact?
Dear Wounded: You were not wrong to find this rude, but you did overreact by waiting to say something until you were angry. You should have spoken up at the first such conversation and let Conor know it was disrespectful of your relationship. Tell him he owes you an apology and not to let it happen again. Then forgive him.