Annie’s Mailbox: My mother is spiteful, vindictive
March 20, 2010
Dear Annie: My son was recently married in a small, private ceremony. For some unknown reason, my mother did not want to attend, but eventually, she and my father decided to show up.
The entire time, my mother acted very rudely toward my son, my in-laws and me. We caught her lying, and she tried to blame my mother-in-law. A few days later, she falsely accused us all of various things.
My mother is spiteful and vindictive. Plus, she is a compulsive liar. Since the wedding, I have kept my distance. However, my father has told other relatives I should not treat my mother this way and should forgive her. Mom has always turned situations like these in her favor. The family will never hear my side of the story because I refuse to play this game.
How does the truth come out?
— Daughter of a Witch
Dear Daughter: We assume other family members are well aware of Mom's personality flaws, and you shouldn't feel you have to defend yourself to them. If they ask about the rift, you can tell them your version of events. It is also possible to forgive your mother while keeping your distance from her emotional abuse, and we recommend it. Frankly, it sounds as if Mom may be suffering from some type of mental illness, and you might encourage her to see a doctor for professional help.
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