I’ve been pondering the state of veterinary medicine in the new millennium. These subjects deserve deeper thought, or at least a master’s degree thesis:
■ Why a barber and a surgeon never should say “oops!”
■ The plethora of chicken/the dearth of poultry practitioners
■ The value of veterinarians in the war against bioterrorism
■ Is there a place for grooming in an exclusive reptile veterinary practice?
■ Recipes for traditionally inedible species
■ What do you think of the “placebo effect” in veterinary medicine?
■ What are the tricks you use to help remember where you left your glasses or car keys?
■ What do you think of men in veterinary medicine? A thing of the past?
■ How to deal with barn sour children?
■ Cellphones: how to add pressure and convenience to your practice
■ The future of leather shoes, purses and seat covers made of doghide
■ The new prestige of meat inspection veterinarians
■ Do you have difficulty resolving Genesis and evolution?
■ The value of Chinese herbal medicine in non-Oriental species.
■ What do you think of homeopathic cures for baldness, dandruff and dog’s ticks?
■ Do dogs have a heaven?
■ Body piercing in veterinary medicine; fashion statement or cruelty?
■ Humane euthanasia techniques in an insect veterinary practice; squash or spray?
■ The use of wood chippers in poultry euthanasia.
■ If humans are evolving, what major physical changes will occur in the next 100,000 years?
■ How veterinary school affected your eating habits
■ Acupuncture in marine mammals — does blubber affect the meridians?
■ Why is free advice (from Whole Foods checkout girl or uncle who works at sale barn) always worth more than advice you have to pay for?
■ Have veterinary specialties like First Premolar Dentistry, Polydactal Primates, and/or Alternative Uses for Vestigial Organs become passé?
■ What do you tell the parents of a child who wants to go to vet school?
■ Who else goes to sleep memorizing the Krebs cycle?