25 Shades of Craig: A girl has to eat

Have you ever went out on a date hoping that sparks would fly and it turns out that you just want to run home and cry.

You are excited and nervous all in one, and then it hits you. You’re sitting here looking at this person across from you and you would rather have bamboo shoots stuck under your nails then spend another minute listening to them talk about how they were a four time wrestling champ in high school and how they could still kick anyone’s butt.

You’re trying to be polite and act interested when all the sudden you notice that he has one long nose hair and every time he breaths it seems to dance. Crazy thoughts are running through your mind at this point, you are trying to think of every excuse to get out of this date.

You’re thinking about all the things you could or should be doing, what attracted you to this person in the first place, or simply what in the hell you were thinking.

Wouldn’t it be awesome if you could have a memory eraser wand like in the movie “Men in Black” and you could just flash it in their eyes and disappear, or how about a little red button that you could push and they would fall through the floor into a vat full of snakes and spiders.

Using your imagination and having fun on a bad date is the key. They are going to happen and instead of staring at that dancing nose hair for the remainder of the date why not talk about some of the cheesiest pick-up lines you have heard or used it will make the time pass by and what the heck, a girl has to eat.

If you have any topics you would like discussed in the 25 shades of Craig email them to me at trinitynicks@gmail.com

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