Al Cashion: From crazy to insane
"I've always been crazy but it's kept me from goin' insane."
One of the original stars of “Outlaw” Country, Waylon Jennings, wrote this famous lyric.
He stole that from me before I could write it. I’m sure.
I confess it fits me to a tee. Some say I’ve rocked over a time or two. Some say I’m going to get a ticket for loitering on Insanity St.
My journey from crazy to insane, should it happen, will be while watching political debates, speeches, commercials or talking heads discussing political debates, speeches and commercials.
Biennially, my crazy starts to lose its grip as the national elections start heating up. But on Tuesday the ninth, I found a pleasant respite from the squall.
I attended the local political debates at J.W. Snacks. I'm glad you weren't there. I had a hard enough time finding a seat.
The evening started with a debate between John Kincaid and Dave DeRose, who both want to play County Commissioner for a term or two.
Bryce Jacobson served as moderator and his questions were solid, straightforward and did not invite spin. The answers from both candidates were solid, straightforward and no one got dizzy.
My time was not wasted and I was informed.
The end of the debate was entertaining. Dave pushed John off the back of the make shift stage.
John said he just tripped but I know better. Dave’s a bully.
I stayed pleasantly on the crazy side, although insanity was lurking. It would blindside me later.
Rick Barnes, sporting a nicer cowboy hat than usual, took on Chuck Grobe for another empty seat in the east side of the Courthouse.
Like John and Dave they were gentlemen, complimented one another's perspective and spoke with sincerity to their objectives and how they hoped to accomplish them. Neither Barnes nor Grobe pushed the other off the stage.
Regrettably, I was unable to stay to watch the big guns at the end. I was relatively knowledgeable concerning that contest and I had this strange compulsion to return to my humble abode and brutalize the other members of my family with the Vice Presidential Debate.
I should have seen it coming. Crazy was losing its grip and insanity was getting a toe hold.
I watched a total of 14 minutes before going to my woodshop where only crazy is allowed and anti-insanity medication is administered in transdermal fashion through the rear rosewood handle on my 1917 Stanley Sweetheart Number 4 Smoothing Plane.
The debate had sent me over the edge.
I apologize in advance for a few words that follow. They were the only ones that came to mind.
Since when in the hell do I live in a society where rude, obnoxious, arrogant, condescending, disrespectful behavior and blatant lies coming out of gleaming white false teeth constitute a "debate strategy"?
I am not a Republican. Neither am I a Democrat. I am a member of a political party and if you ask, I’ll tell you. You can erase the thought that if it were my party's man, I would find it tolerable. I pray I would not accept that from my life’s hero.
What is this bizarre game we are playing called politics? What the hell is wrong with us? This is accepted? Tolerable? This is how we play the game? Since when did common civility, politeness, fair play, and honesty become politically cliché?
I managed to buck up and watch the rerun. I went from teeth gritting anger to seething, boiling, explosive irate in one sentence from the Colgate commercial in a suit.
“We didn’t know!” From crazy to insanity in one sentence.
I couldn't help but think that if that debate had taken place at J.W. Snacks, in Craig, America, the last thing someone may have seen was a gleaming set of false teeth dislodged by a clean right hook fly across the room.
I would have considered it an honor to do the deed.
I've always been crazy. It has not always kept me from going insane.