Dear Annie: My parents were heavy smokers, and they both died due to complications from COPD and emphysema.
My daughter watched their agony. Now she smokes herself.
Having watched her grandparents die from the effects of smoking, I cannot understand why she would start a habit that kills.
Worse, she exposes my granddaughter to secondhand smoke.
I know if smokers could turn back time, they would not start such a nasty and filthy habit. What can I do?
— Not Smoking but Still Suffering in N.H.
Dear N.H.: Smoking is an addiction. Your daughter may not be able to stop without assistance, but you can give her information about the hazards of secondhand smoke. Her pediatrician should also mention this.
Tell her if she cannot stop smoking for her own benefit, she should at least minimize the risks to her child. We hope she listens.
Dear Annie: This is in reply to “Not Liking Mother in Connecticut.” Has her mother always been nasty and insulting?
She says her 55-year-old handicapped sister lives with Mom. As the mother of a 47-year-old handicapped son who does not live with me, I can imagine that Mom might be very angry about her situation.
She also may be grieving the years of her life that have gone into caring for this daughter.
It sounds like some therapy is in order, although Mom will probably reject the idea.
The writer should also seek counseling to deal with the issue. It may make her more understanding and tolerant of her mother.
— Mom Who Is Liked in NYC
Dear NYC: Thanks for shedding light on the flip side of the coin. There are always two sides.