Annie's Mailbox: Man lied about separating from wife

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Dear Annie: When I met my husband, he told me he was separated from his wife. At the time, I was separated, too. It turns out I was the only one telling the truth.

My husband is in the service, and when he met me, his wife and children were at home waiting for his return. After three years of marriage, I heard the real story — how he blindsided his wife by asking for a divorce and how devastated she was. Then last night, he said if he hadn’t met me, he still would be married to her.

He also has lied about other stuff, but those lies are minor compared to this one. I totally regret marrying him and realize he could do the same thing to me that he did to his ex. Please help.

— Seeing the Future

Dear Seeing: One of the foundations of a good marriage is trust, and Hubby has thrown yours away. This does not mean he doesn’t love you, but it does make it harder to feel secure in the marriage. Ask him to go with you for counseling to see whether there is any way to help him understand why his behavior was so wrong and whether your relationship can be salvaged. As always, if he won’t go, go without him.

Dear Annie: May I say a word about behavior at the movies? With the increase in home entertainment options, movie theaters have lost some of their popularity and need our support. If bad behavior in movie theaters keeps us from going, the remaining theaters will be forced to charge higher rates or go out of business. So, here are my guidelines for today’s moviegoers:

  1. Go unplugged: Turn off electronic devices with glowing screens or sound, such as MP3 players, PDAs, cell phones, iPods and pagers. Do not text (the screen glows). Do not use laser pens. If you can’t be without your devices for two hours, stay home.

  2. Make sure the movie fits: If you’re bringing young children, avoid films with violence and sex, and also make sure the movie is appropriate for your child. If you have to explain everything happening onscreen, you’re better off with a different movie.

  3. Tackle the tantrums: Please wait until your child is able to sit quietly for at least two hours before you take him to his first movie. Also, don’t bring the kids at night when they are tired. Make sure they have had their naps, snacks and anything else they need to be comfortable. If little Prunella does have a tantrum despite your best efforts, remove her quickly and quietly.

  4. Take a load off and keep it there: Once you find a seat, stay there. Getting up or going in and out frequently is distracting.

  5. Check the time: It’s irritating to have the door opening during the film. Try to get in early, and if the movie already has started, wait for the next showing.

Thanks, Annie.

— MM2010

Dear MM: People sometimes forget that others want to enjoy the film, as well. Your guidelines are simply a way to show consideration, and we thank you.

Dear Annie: I was deeply disturbed by “Mom of an Unhappy Toddler,” whose child saw a commercial for Cymbalta and wanted some so she could be “happy.”

That mother should be outraged that they even show drug commercials on TV. It’s no wonder our society is so addicted. When my children were sick, I took them to the doctor. I did not look to the TV for symptoms, nor would I have thought it was funny had they acted like that 3-year-old.

These drug companies are using our babies as guinea pigs. I can’t believe people would even take these drugs after hearing about all the side effects.

— Furious Grandma

Dear Grandma: You make a good point. All drugs have side effects, and even doctors are not immune to the influence of good advertising.

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