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This article originally was published April 27. It has been updated for accuracy.

Sometimes it helps to be outspoken when making important decisions. At least, that was the case for Bobbi Beall, who got together with her two sisters and mother to decide how to divide their mother's possessions.

One sister had her heart set on a ring; another wanted a chair she had helped refinish. Beall, the oldest, received her mother's wedding ring.

"It was funny : we really just talked about what we wanted so there weren't any hurt feelings," Beall said.

Now she's tackling the process with her husband's family.

"I think that's the key - really talking about it amongst the kids, and asking, 'OK, is there really something that's important to you?'" Beall said.

Whether a parent or relative is transitioning to a simpler lifestyle or planning for their death, families inevitably must make what often are tough choices about possessions that have monetary or sentimental value but aren't included in a will.

For the best outcome, these conversations and decisions should take place before an elder passes away or becomes too incapacitated to discuss the issue.

"You have to start the conversation to know what everybody values : and to avoid conflicts when decisions have to be made," said Routt County Extension Agent Karen Massey, who specializes in family and consumer issues.

Decisions about non-titled property can lead to even more family disagreements than issues of titled property or financial wealth, according to the University of Minnesota Extension Service, which developed the program "Who Gets Grandma's Yellow Pie Plate."

The program, which offers families practical suggestions for passing on personal possessions, is the basis for a presentation Massey will give Sept. 16 and 30 at Hayden Wellness Days.

Because the idea of leaving their home is already emotional and difficult for older adults, it's understandable that children or relatives may be reluctant to bring up the subject of that person's belongings.

That's why it's best for the elder, or owner of the possessions, to begin the conversation, Massey said.

"This workshop is meant to help people think about what to do with their possessions and start the dialog with their families," she said.

Waiting until crisis to consider the emotional and financial value of objects and who is most likely to appreciate them can result in abrupt decisions and negative family dynamics.

Massey, who is helping her parents move into an independent living center, said planning for these decisions early on can prevent hurt feelings and also give an older adult a sense of closure.

"If (my mother) thought for a second her passing caused trouble in the family, that would be endlessly disconcerting to her," she said.

Conversations about a person's belongings can prevent assumptions that might lead to conflict and reveal information helping extend past generations' legacies through objects and stories.

"How our parents valued things so much that really weren't financially valuable, that was kind of sweet to see," Beall said.

If adult children or family don't know a seemingly everyday item is an heirloom or represents something special, a link between generations could be lost forever. Imagine a great-grandmother's candy dish or grandfather's paper weight being sold at a garage sell for pennies.

"Once those things are identified, they take on a new meaning," Massey said. "Then, you feel good about having those things in your home and making sure you share them with people who value them."

Tamera Manzanares writes for the Aging Well program and can be reached at tmanzanares@nwcovna.org or 871-7606. Aging Well, a division of Northwest Colorado Visiting Nurse Association, is a community-based program of healthy aging for adults 50 and older. For more information or to view past articles, visit www.agingwelltoday.com.