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Andy Bockelman

Andy Bockelman's movie reviews appear in the Craig Daily Press and Saturday Morning Press.

The smell of red-hot asphalt, the shadow of a giant inflatable gorilla and the sound of salespeople and customers screaming their lungs out at each other like barbarians on the battlefield.

It all adds up to the perfect storm of automotive retail - "The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard."

If there's one thing Don "The Goods" Ready (Jeremy Piven) knows, it's how to move cars.

Just check his business card.

He and his team of strategists (Ving Rhames, David Koechner, Kathryn Hahn) are on the road 51 weeks out of the year, hiring themselves out to floundering dealerships across the nation.

It's a life of thankless work, hotel room Pay-Per-View and dinner at Arby's.

And they love it.

But their latest client, Ben Selleck (James Brolin), of Temecula, Calif., may prove their most difficult sell. Days away from bank foreclosure on his car lot, Selleck needs Don's magic like nobody's business.

Facing distractions such as Selleck's skeptical daughter (Jordana Spiro), her idiot fiance (Ed Helms) and a DJ (Craig Robinson) who refuses to take requests, Don isn't afraid of a challenge. Even if it means his career.

Piven parlays his negotiating skills from his show-biz agent role on HBO's "Entourage" into the force of nature that is Don Ready, who made his first foray into sales at age 9 and can use his charm to start an orgy at 20,000 feet 30 years later.

But nobody can do it alone, as glimpsed from his backup squad: Rhames as former athlete Jibby Newsome; Hahn as hard-boiled, hormone crazy Babs Merrick; and Koechner as strip club aficionado Brent Gage, who becomes the unusual fixation of Selleck, coolly played by Brolin.

Rob Riggle also is oddly endearing as his progeric 10-year-old son, who in turn is longed for by Babs - yes, he looks like a full-grown adult, not that it makes it any less weird.

Helms is as characteristically dense as he usually is as Selleck's competition, Paxton Harding, who comes complete with $44 haircut and fellow members (Bryan Callen, Joey Kern) of his boy band - call it a "man band" if you want; we all know the truth.

Numerous other comic names appear in minor roles including Ken Jeong, Tony Hale and Kristen Schaal, although veteran actor Charles Napier brings the most laughs as one of Selleck's least effective salesmen, thanks to his extremely racist, sexist attitude and tendency to sucker punch people.

There's never any shortage of "root for the underdog" brand comedies year after year, and with such broadly drawn but undeniably polarized characters, there's no question of how everything will turn out in the end. But there is an almost unintentional depth and symbolism to be found in this silly, foul-mouthed flick.

The nation's economic crisis and the subsequent crackdown on the Big Three automakers have left America unsure of its future in the business. This is clumsily but creatively paralleled by the war between the exclusively American Selleck Motors and the BMW and Mercedes-laden Harding Imports.

There's an old-fashioned patriotism of Don's can-do approach to sales, although you may want to overlook tactics such as spreading false rumors of Ben Selleck's imminent death or having his own best friend (Will Ferrell) skydive dressed as Abraham Lincoln - rest in peace.

The point is that slightly xenophobic though it may be, the "Buy American" slogan is not an antiquated idea, and whether it's through bad Bob Seger karaoke or classic movie props - Selleck Motors owns a black and gold Trans Am that may have been used in "Smokey and the Bandit" - note, may have - you'll get a good kick to the groin on behalf of Uncle Sam.

And you'll like it!

With quotes galore - "Sell the metal!" - and a pro-USA message to boot, "The Goods" is aptly named.

And for those who claim not to be buying, Don Ready will spin your thoughts within minutes.

Of course, you're on your own once you drive off the lot.

Now playing at the West Theater.