Annie's Mailbox: Concept of marriage scares us


Dear Annie: I'm 27 years old and have been dating the handsome love of my life off and on since high school. Our relationship always has been based on friendship. It was love at a distance, mainly because I am a Christian and had my boundaries. When he was dating others, it never bothered me because we weren't intimate.

With all the uncertainties of life, both of us are traumatized by the word "marriage." He has his reasons, and I have mine. I love him so much and want to spend my entire life with him. I want to be his wife and the mother of his children but am somehow afraid of the disappointments that could happen, even though he has never given me a reason to feel this way. He knows I love him, and he loves me, but the commitment terrifies me. What should we do?

- Ready to Love

Dear Ready: Marriage is a leap of faith. You make the choice to believe things will work out for the best, and you accept that there are no guarantees. If you wait until you are absolutely certain that you will never be disappointed, you will remain paralyzed and do nothing. Of course, as long as the two of you are equally fearful, there's no reason to push in one direction or the other. As soon as one of you is ready to commit, the other must be willing. Otherwise, let him go.


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