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Craig — Are you stranded on a distant planet with the government after you? E.T. may have phoned home, but if you're smart, you'll take a clue from the young heroes of "Race to Witch Mountain" and ally yourself with a former professional wrestler.

Las Vegas taxi driver Jack Bruno (Dwayne Johnson) has seen some weird things in his life, but his latest tops the list. Teenage twins Seth and Sara (Alexander Ludwig and AnnaSophia Robb) talk like computers and carry an unusually large amount of cash, so Jack thinks something is up.

That is, until black cars start chasing them down the highway, fully confirming his belief that all is not well. The two reveal themselves to be aliens who desperately need to return to their own world.

Skeptical at first, Jack learns that the pair is in danger at the hands of an indestructible, mindless assassin sent to kill them.

Only by enlisting the help of a very open-minded astrophysicist (Carla Gugino) can he hope to help his new charges find their way back.

Johnson's everyman action hero charm does not fail in his role as reformed ex-convict Jack, but it runs a little low after a while. This is one vehicle that even The Rock cannot shoulder entirely by himself.

Gugino is fine as Dr. Alex Friedman, a dreamer and a bit of a laughingstock in her field because of her belief in the possibility of extraterrestrials.

The kids are meant to be the focus of this show, although this remains problematic because neither of them really has much personality. But at least the acting fits the bill - Robb is more emotional as Sara, who possesses telepathic and telekinetic powers, while Ludwig keeps up his toughness as Seth, who can become completely intangible or maintain the durability of a Sherman tank with enough concentration.

Rounding out the standard ensemble of good guys and bad guys are mechanic Cheech Marin and UFO nut Garry Marshall in the former and government agents Ciarán Hinds, Tom Everett Scott and Chris Marquette in the latter.

Disney's restructuring of its own "Escape to Witch Mountain" keeps the major storyline but loses much of the true suspense for the sake of drawn-out action. There is no mystery this time around as to who these kids are and where they are going.

Careful observers will notice cameos from the stars of the original "Witch Mountain" and its sequel, Kim Richards and Ike (Iake) Eisenmann, but there is little else that really nods toward the aspect of the remake.

All signs point toward the future, and this is the main flaw of the film.

It's so slick and action-oriented that it forgets to be much of a family feature, instead becoming a face in the crowd of the myriad entries of the "good-hearted aliens stuck on Earth" genre.

This isn't supposed to be serious science fiction - it's a modern day tale with special effects and cannot make it as anything else, much to the disappointment of the audience.

"Race to Witch Mountain" is a repackaging of the same old stuff and not really a bad one in its own right.

Still, my advice is there is no need to race to the theater for this update.