H. Neal Glanville: A stab at defining normal

H. Neal Glanville

H. Neal Glanville's column appears in the Craig Daily Press on Mondays.

Well, it’s a couple of days since Christmas, and if you glance about, it seems things are returning to normal, if you’re normal.

Far be it from me to define normal. I’m the furthest of the furthest from any dictionary’s version of that word.

I’m only guessing, but if I’d been given a tenth of a cent each time a “normal adult” said “why can’t you be/act normal like every one else?” Jane and I would be hauling a picnic lunch to some fishing hole in my beloved 1934 Bugatti.

I’m not anti-normal; I just can’t figure a use for it.

If spending your life complaining about everything from your job to what you believe you’re entitled to, but not getting is normal, I don’t have a use for it.

If you’re the loudest voice in your circle of friends about everything that’s wrong, but always have an excuse for not standing up to change it, I can’t use that part, either.

If the total lack of respect for your peers or yourself is even near normal, keep me away from it.

Believing that “going with the flow” is the path to normal nirvana, I’ll stick to the backside of Craig.

When did I miss the transition to “it’s OK to wear pajamas in public?” Relaxed is fine at your house, but that kind of normal scares me.

Pretending friendship for personal gain doesn’t seem like a normal way to gain one. If accepting advertisements that use words/terms that have yet to be defined, let alone invented, as gospel, I’ll stick to melting crayons on the radiator.

Now for the worst of the worst of the worsts: accepting the phrases “we know what’s best, let us take care of it for you,” “it’s in your best interest” or my personal favorite to choke on, “politically correct.”

As words to live and breathe by, you can take that side of normal to the north side of Hades.

On the other hand, in my case, the much overworked weak side of my brain, take each minute for what it is, an adventure in attitude adjustment.

I know, I know, it’s too simple to be true, but it is.

If you can think for yourself, it will slap the backside of your head with what you’ve been missing.

Now, supposing you’re too normal to think on your own, get out of our fishing hole.

Now for something completely different

It has been noted (Saturday’s editorial) that because of complacency on both sides — those being adult volunteers and the school board — there is a lack of attention being given to students struggling to achieve, or even being able to maintain a minimal level of academic success.

Those receiving recognition seem to do so only by having earned a scholarship upon graduation, while in the meantime, too many have fallen through the cracks and ended up with a less than acceptable educational experience.

What’s wrong with that picture, and what can we do, as Craig, America, to change it?

Thanks to some help from county court records, I’ve found that the new motel, just west of town, has more liens against it than a Mormon haystack.

Seems ironic after all the hoop-la about investing in Craig, they casually run out of town owing money to local contractors. Could this be a trend?

My choice for a winter trend: spreading multi-flavors of Jell-O on snow banks.

Hey, you be careful out there.

Comments

Use the comment form below to begin a discussion about this content.

Requires free registration

Posting comments requires a free account and verification.