Annie's Mailbox: My wife and I have drifted apart


Dear Annie: I have been married for 17 years and am the father of two teenage boys. In the past few years, my wife and I seem to have drifted apart. We've had our issues before, but have always been able to work things out. Not now.

Recently we talked, and it seems she is just not romantically into me anymore. Actually, although saddened, I understand because the feeling is mutual. It also doesn't help that she spends the majority of her time playing an online video game where she talks with another man in another state. They phone each other nearly every day.

I try to keep our sons out of our marital problems, but they are old enough to notice. They have said it's weird Mom spends so much time playing and talking with this other man. I have confronted her about this extramarital relationship, and she says he's just someone she plays the game with and that's it. But I accidentally came across one of her e-mails to him that indicates otherwise. What do I do?

- Just a Dad

Dear Dad: When neither spouse has a fulfilling connection at home, each is vulnerable to finding it elsewhere, and this is what your wife has done. Your decision now is whether you want to save your marriage. If so, it will require that you find a way to rekindle the romance that existed when you first met, and then you both will need to recommit to each other. Tell your wife how unhappy you are and ask her to go with you for counseling. If she won't go, go without her.


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