Craig Daily Press

Christina M. Currie

Christina M. Currie's Touch of Spice column appears Fridays in the Craig Daily Press. E-mail her at director@craig-chamber.com

(Editor’s note: The following is a Classic Currie piece. Her regular column will resume next week)

Nikki’s graduated from full-time speech therapy to occasional monitoring and despite the fact that I can now understand what she says, we still have trouble communicating.

My 5-year-old isn’t limited by her ability to speak anymore. She’s limited by her vocabulary.

And she’s just as frustrated.

“You know mom, that thing.”

My imagination is on overload as I try to figure out what “that thing” means.

“It was a puzzle with that thing, you know where boats go to not crash,” she told me one night.

I got it in one guess: lighthouse.

We were both proud of me.

Everyday is a game — a combination of charades and Taboo. Winning earns you a broad smile. Lose, and you face anger, tears and frustration.

Nikki likes “white stuff.” That’s mayonnaise, if you were wondering.

Six-year-old Katie has a similar problem.

And, she’s more prone to frustration.

I had to attend a night meeting, and the girls were obligated to go with me. On our way, I was carefully explaining the rules.

“You WILL be on your best behavior. You WILL show good manners. You WILL NOT scream, talk loudly or run in circles.”

Yeah, that’s the way to encourage your children to be civic-minded.

Katie repeated the rules with a zeal that made me think she was on board. Then said, “And we won’t be ... what’s that word mom?”

Loud? Crazy? Rude? Inconsiderate? Heathens?

I just couldn’t get it. I tried every variable within the context. Nothing.

Finally, at the height of frustration, Katie found the word she was looking for.

“Allergic!”

Allergic?

Where in the world had that come from?

Then I remembered. She was doing meeting association. We go to one meeting where there’s a play area. That’s the toy meeting.

We go to others where they get to have lunch and color.

This particular meeting was the first time either of my girls had experienced bread pudding, which they instantly decided they were allergic to.

My girls have no allergies. They have absolutely no reason to even know that word, let alone use it fairly well (if incorrectly).

OK, that’s not exactly true. In my attempts to limit household growth and responsibility, I did spend one day convincing Katie that she was probably allergic to cats.

But that’s all. Really. AND, that was months ago.

Still, her ability to recall the word, especially when she can’t remember what to call that place by the sunset that makes lots of steam, was pretty impressive.

My inability to guess based on the clues provided was less than impressive.

In my defense, I didn’t have much to go on.

Worse was the day Katie asked how to spell, “you know, THAT word.”

As a hint I got, “they’re fat, but not too fat and they look like birds, but not really.”

Ostrich? Flamingo? Help me out here.

“And they have stars on their belly.”

OK, I’m even more lost.

“Oh yeah! They’re Sneeches!” Katie exclaimed.

Huh. Can’t believe I didn’t make that connection.

What the hell is a Sneech?

Evidently they’re animals that are fat, but not too fat, look like birds, but not really and have stars on their bellies.

I did an Internet search.

Sure enough — that’s EXACTLY what they are, as any fan of Dr. Seuss would tell you. If I were describing a Sneech, that’s exactly how I’d do it.

Point for Katie.

Not so much for mom.

I can’t seem to progress beyond the beginner stage of this game.

Nikki asked, “When they have the turning things, does that make it cold?”

Yep, sometimes turning the fan on does make it cold.

Cha ching! Mom rocks!

Like all others, that victory in this guessing game called parenting, is short-lived.

“Can I have some, you know mom, that thing?”

It’s back to the loser’s bracket for me.