Craig Daily Press

John Vandelinder

John Vandelinder's columns appear Tuesdays and Fridays in the Craig Daily Press. E-mail him at jvandelinder@craigdailypress.com

I haven’t picked up a golf club since the tournament.

Now that the debacle I suffered two weeks ago on the Yampa Valley Golf Course links is behind me, I have yet even to look at my trusty Clevelands.

In fact, I’ve been so embarrassed that it took some nudging for me even to attempt to put my round — or the part of it I did complete — into words.

I entered the Cottonwood Classic golf tournament July 4 full of confidence, ready to show the world how good Vandelinder sounds on a PGA tour scoreboard.

Win my flight, and off I go.

I’ve been golfing for five or so years now, no lessons, no range time this year, just hacking it up from hole to hole.

But, it’s not like I don’t know what’s going on with the small white dimpled ball.

Hey, Vijay Singh is a self-taught, perennial top-10 pro.

And, he uses Cleveland clubs like I do.

Playing 12 years of baseball allowed me to learn the whole hip-turn-weight-distribution thing, and I managed to get my handicap to a respectable 7.9 entering the event.

Having never played tournament golf, except for a few scramble and best-ball events here and there, I figured it would be the same thing as the casual rounds I’ve played with Nick Moyer.

It’s not exactly easy trying to beat the best high school player in the county and possibly the Western Slope.

But, let me tell you, all the stories I’ve heard about the nerves kicking in on the first tee of a tourney are true.

I teed off on the back nine, excited because I’ve broken 40 numerous times playing holes 10 through 18, but after my first swing, I knew I was in trouble.

From the whites, my fade-game (a nice way for other golfers to describe my nasty slice) played beautifully around the numerous doglegs to the right on the course.

But, from the blues, my shots faded not around the corner but directly into the trees. I flubbed my second shot off one of those nasty brown things with leaves on the top, then hit a nice wedge over them onto the green and proceeded to three-putt.

Double-bogey on the first hole.

I was already two shots behind my biggest foe — the course itself.

I regrouped to hit the green on the par-3 11th hole, only to three-putt again.

So much for my revamped left-hand-low putter grip being my new best friend.

After that, the rest became a blur.

I do remember taking 10 shots on two of the par 5s, after hitting out of bounds from the tee-box.

I picked up my ball twice when I was about six inches from the hole, adding two extra shots to my score.

I almost did it three times.

Making the turn with a 51 on my card, my PGA dreams long had left me.

Two pars and numerous double, triple, quadruple and quintuple bogeys — along with seven Titleists — behind me, what I thought would be fun, wasn’t anymore.

I began to think about taking the weekend off and going shopping in Grand Junction.

A 10 on the par-5 sixth hole was the final straw.

I figured if I withdrew then nobody would know I was well on my way to shooting over 100.

So, tail between my legs, I stepped down.

My experience taught me several things:

One, practice helps.

Two, I won’t talk smack to current Craig city champ Nick Bomba anymore.

And three, there is a reason why I write about sports and do not compete.

As for next year’s Cotton­wood, can I tee off from the reds?

John Vandelinder can be reached at 875-1793 or jvandelinder@craigdailypress.com