Christina M. Currie's Touch of Spice column appears Fridays in the Craig Daily Press. E-mail her at <a href="mailto:director@craig-chamber.com"> director@craig-chamber.com</a>

Photo by John Henry

Christina M. Currie's Touch of Spice column appears Fridays in the Craig Daily Press. E-mail her at <a href="mailto:director@craig-chamber.com"> director@craig-chamber.com</a>

Christina M. Currie: What's in a word

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I know now why Bill Cosby thought that the things kids say were worth a 30-minute time slot during prime time. Their innocence and the fact that they haven't developed many filters between their brains and tongues is often amusing, sometimes embarrassing and almost always worth listening to.

But, I didn't know how often they could be shocking.

Now I do. I constantly tell myself that I'll never be surprised by something a child says, but darn if they don't catch me off guard every single time.

A couple of weeks ago, 6-year-old Nikki casually (and a bit proudly) announced that one of her girlfriends "had a noodle in her penis."

That's a phrase to stun you silent.

And that shows you that you haven't had near enough discussions about human anatomy.

If I hadn't known which friend Nikki was talking about, I would have been on the phone with social services. Luckily, I knew that particular friend had some extreme health issues as an infant and as a toddler and could ask, "do you mean 'needle?'"

"Oh, yeah."

I was so glad she'd told me this and not, say, her first-grade class.

"And, Nikki, girls don't have penises."

"Oh, yeah," she said, like she'd known that at some time, but had just forgotten.

I didn't even know Nikki knew the word penis. She obviously didn't know what it meant.

See, that's the problem. In addition to saying anything that crosses their minds, kids will also use words they think they know the meaning of, but really don't.

There's a flip side, of course.

A few days ago, the girls heard someone use the "f" word.

As was appropriate, their eyes widened, they gasped and covered their mouths.

Nikki said, "did you hear that, Katie? She used the finger word."

I had to laugh. The girls have learned that it's not polite to point their middle finger at people, but only because it was "rude." I didn't know they knew the correlation between the middle finger and the sentiment it expresses.

They're learning so fast. Faster than I can keep up with. And, sometimes faster than I want to know.

"Katie, look, look the dog's penis is hanging out!"

Oh my.

At least she used the word correctly. The dog is a boy.

But still. Do they have to do that?

Comments

grannyrett 6 years, 4 months ago

Yes Chris, they do have to do that. It's a law that kids have to say the most inappropriate thing at the most inappropriate time. Just be glad you weren't in church or at the grocery store when she did it. That's the price you pay for having kids. We all have to suffer through it. I'll bet that even you did it too.

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redneckgirl 6 years, 4 months ago

I think the topic of this story is a little inappropriate for a newspaper, couldn't think of anything else to talk about?? Clip that one out & put it in the scrap book for grandma.

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misterkindbuds 6 years, 4 months ago

Well, well, well ...

A penis in the Craig Daily Mess.

Where do you come up with these topical, cute, G-rated columns?

The meth fumes must have been enveloping the trailer park that day.

Penis.

Unbelievable.

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grannyrett 6 years, 4 months ago

Well, well, well. A distant voice heard from this morning. mkb-sleep late this a.m.? Thought maybe your computer was broke. Do they have internet service in Lone Tree?

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misterkindbuds 6 years, 4 months ago

Sorry, bloomin' grannypanties.

Penis.

Not at my Lone Tree house today - up here in the sticks with you (well, not you) but up here in the sticks at my other house (like yours in Arkansas).

Penis.

But when I say house, I mean something you can't take the wheels off of.

Penis.

And the internet service is always good in this hood.

Penis.

Goodbye.

Penis.

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redneckgirl 6 years, 3 months ago

wow...must have been something more than bud in that joint.

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Craig_gal 6 years, 3 months ago

oh my goodness. I have never responded to Misterkindbuds remarks because although they have generally been WRONG he never really resorted to such judgmental nonsense as he is now. MKB I have no idea how would you put an entire community into one generalization. I do know how the students at the high school make sure that there is constantly a separation and how young immature people like to spread hatred among communities but how on earth could someone of your self declared intellect come down to such rudeness?

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misterkindbuds 6 years, 3 months ago

Because there's a penis in the Craig Daily Press. Not just one, but a whole sack of them.

Again, I love Craigites ... lots of good people here.

Not sure how I am spreading hatred, but would love to hear your theories.

Penis.

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grannyrett 6 years, 3 months ago

mkb-you are so far off base, you don't know where the field is. Did I do something to upset you? tee hee

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redneckgirl 6 years, 3 months ago

MKB--You are so right-there is a penis in the Craig Daily Press! (need i say who?)

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Craig_gal 6 years, 3 months ago

what is mofo? is my age and naivety showing again?

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redneckgirl 6 years, 3 months ago

it starts with mother and ends with a four letter word plus "er".

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grannyrett 6 years, 3 months ago

Now, now, now kids. Lighten up a little here. Although, I really don't think this should have been printed in the paper. There are enough embarrassing things kids do that she should have skipped this one.

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redneckgirl 6 years, 3 months ago

grannyr...i think 50 was meaning that towards mkb for the comment about/to you? Not so much the article.

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Craig_gal 6 years, 3 months ago

okay, I think i have an idea of what 50 was saying but anyway...MKB I was referring to you making generalizations about meth and trailer parks and etc... i guess that is what i was referring to when I made the strong statements of "immature people like to spread hatred among communities but how on earth could someone of your self declared intellect come down to such rudeness?" If you were not trying to make generalizations and grouping people into one category of meth and houses with wheels than i am not sure why you put that in you previous comments but regardless of all of that I have to say so far everyone is agreeing that this was an article that did not need to be written much less put into print, children and grandchildren say some pretty amazing things but they are generally shared with relatives and close friends not all of northwest Colorado.

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Craig_gal 6 years, 3 months ago

ha ha ha okay everyone you have to admit. THAT is pretty funny.

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grannyrett 6 years, 3 months ago

red, I know what 50 was doing. He just needed to calm down. I don't want him banned from the forum. Who else knows how to lighten things up so much and make this forum so fun. mkb brings out the worse in us, and we need to stop it. That's why I suggested earlier that we ignore him. It's hard to do, but we just have to remember that he isn't one of us, and he never will be. He posts on the Steamboat forum and has had his comments removed. He doesn't seem to fit in there either. I raise to his bait too, and I have to stop it. We all do. We have so much fun with the forum. Let's not ruin it with the likes of mkb. This means you too Patrick.

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misterkindbuds 6 years, 3 months ago

50 cal. - you make me laugh.

Some old fart with a gun in his lap popping antelope as they graze by Cedar Mountain.

You'd need all .50 calibers to deal with me, grandpa. :) Those fumes must be blowing in your direction.

I was actually the first person to be "banished" from the entire Yampa Valley for associating trailer parks with meth labs..

Maybe you'll remember it as well as I.

I'll never forget when they put a bucket on my head, put me on the south end of a northbound horse and slapped old Penis on the rear.

As I rode Penis through the night, wondering if I would ever be accepted anywhere (much less, my beloved Craig) it finally dawned on me.

I'm not gay, even if certain Craigites wanted me to ride Penis for the rest of my life.

I'll be at the O.P. at noon today signing copies of my new book, "The night they drove old Penis out of Craig."

I'll be the one with the bucket on my head.

Peace. Love. Dope.

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50cal 6 years, 3 months ago

what do you know MKB? you think I'm old? you think I need all fifty?

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redneckgirl 6 years, 3 months ago

i feel tension on the forum, it's quite scary. i'm gonna go hide.

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grannyrett 6 years, 3 months ago

No, no, no- don't go away. I'll calm down. I promise. I just hate all the discontent that mkb is causing. We really need to nip him in the bud. It's a game, and, it's not even a nice game.

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redneckgirl 6 years, 3 months ago

oh, i didn't mean i was going away...just wasn't going to add to the satisfaction that mkb is getting for irritating all of us. We will just ignore him as you said earlier. Some are just bigger losers than others. ( i have this strong urge to type penis after every sentence).....

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misterkindbuds 6 years, 3 months ago

MKB. I like that.

Kind of like MLK, but more of a uniter.

Grannyrett, I asked, and my good Penis said you can have one of his horse laxatives. If I know you, only take two ... :)

50cal ... how many do you intend to use?

Penis.

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misterkindbuds 6 years, 3 months ago

I can feel the heavy rustling - and smell the bad breath - of the Mathers' clan.

There must be a west wind coming in from The Mountain.

Off to volunteer at the nursing home ... it's meds night.

Goodbye friends

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misterkindbuds 6 years, 3 months ago

Is it Friday yet??????????

Now, don't forget to eat your puddin'.

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lonelyone 6 years, 3 months ago

:You know, I think MKB is just sitting back in his little hole and laughing like crazy as he has stirred this pot pretty good. He's probably thinking how easy it is to get you guys really riled up over what he can say. How ever I do think he was pretty rude with the laxative comment. MKB, maybe you should take your penis and all the rest of your stuff and go for a nice long walk and calm down a bit. As we've said a number of times before, if you don't like what Chris says in her stories, then don't read them.

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