About three months ago I e-mailed the National Basketball Association with a request for a press pass to the NBA All-Star game in Denver on Sunday, Feb. 20 (this Sunday for those of you keeping score at home).
I was given the cold shoulder from the people at the NBA.
I didn't even receive a reply turning me down.
I've come up with two theories of why the NBA ignored me like a a child in a shopping cart screaming for everything on the shelves.
I was in Denver last weekend for the 2005 Colorado State Wrestling Championships. As I drove to and from the Pepsi Center, ads were all over the radio for the upcoming All-Star Game.
Maybe it was just the radio station that I was listening to (a hip-hop one), or the time of night I was listening (around midnight), but 90 percent of the ads for the NBA weekend involved some rapper hanging out with some NBA All-Star at some club.
There was nothing about the game and watching the greatest basketball stars on earth in the ads. Instead they sounded something like this: "Come to Chubbies Friday night for $1 draws and to hang out with Ludacris and Tracy McGrady. It's gonna be off the hook, crazy wild yo."
Thus I came up with my first theory of why I didn't hear back from the NBA. I'm not jiggy enough, or as we would have said in fifth grade, I'm not down with the OPP. Since my name isn't P-Diddy, Nelly or 50 Cent, I'm not down with the NBA crowd. So no credentials for me.
Just in case the NBA does read this column before Sunday, I will refer to myself in the third person as P-Davey for the rest of this column. You know, like rappers do when they are interviewed. Maybe then they'll hook me up whack.
P-Davey thinks that P-Davey is experiencing a case of "you work for who?" discrimination.
Just because P-Davey doesn't work for the Atlanta Constitution or the Denver Post doesn't mean P-Davey wouldn't be able to provide some colorful commentary.
Maybe the NBA has to limit its credentials to the papers that cover the NBA on a regular basis.
P-Davey don't play that.
Hasn't the NBA seen the ads in our paper? P-Davey is "raw, unbridled and intense." Isn't that enough to get credentials to the game?
When the day comes that P-Davey is at a large-subscription newspaper, P-Davey won't accept credential offers from the NBA. So what do you think about that NBA? ... NBA ... hello, are you out there?
Oh, that's right, the NBA won't listen to the little guy. P-Davey doesn't own a record label or a byline in a paper with a circulation of 200,000. That's fine, P-Davey was just fine covering state wrestling in the Pepsi Center the week before.
P-Davey didn't want to go to the All-Star game anyway.
But if there are a couple of spare credentials lying around, let P-Davey know, he might find use for them.