Christmas was over. Income tax was due. Not much goin' on. Folks felt sorta blue.
So the Kiwanians decided now was the time. They'd liven things up a bit -- maybe earn a dime.
They'd recite rowdy rhymes. It would be pure corn. Perhaps some dancin' girls? And the Kiwanis Play was born.
They asked a dance teacher to show them the beat. Trouble was most of them had two left feet.
They sent away for costumes and wigs and such. It began to improve -- but not very darn much.
They made up skits and copied some. A few were clever; lots were dumb.
They told dirty jokes, and sang silly songs; wore crazy clothes; so far no thongs?
Some said it was in bad taste -- and laughed and had a ball. If it hadn't been for bad taste, 'twould have had no taste at all.
They picked on the president, GOP and Dems as well. Dissed the city and county crews. Made some mad as hell.
I think if folks were honest, they'd own up and say
They were flattered to be mentioned
In that gross Kiwanis Play.
They weren't really vicious. It sorta took a bit of spunk. In fact, I think just a few of them,
Were -- maybe -- just a little drunk.
For years and years Kiwanis wives handled this period with poise. They said to one another, "Boys will be boys."
So now when Christmas is over, And income taxes due, I have this little secret
That I'm gonna tell to you.
Once a year is quite enough, but listen to me say, "I think that Craig looks forward
To that crazy, clever, funny, foolish, goofy, giggly, naughty,
Nutty, petty, pithy, wicked, wise, witty, WELCOME Kiwanis Play.
I suppose you felt you had to apologize, Steve, but did you have to grovel?